Dale Kurow

Do Your Colleagues See You the Same Way You Do?

Watch your body language

Have you heard the saying that goes something like this: if you don’t know who the office jerk is, it’s probably you?

You might be a well-intentioned manager that feels like a team player, but there might be something about your approach that prohibits your employees and colleagues from agreeing.

Columbia Business School suggests those who are rough around the edges at work don’t necessarily know it. “Finding the middle ground between being pushy and being a pushover is a basic challenge in social life and the workplace. We’ve now found that the challenge is compounded by the fact that people often don’t know how others see their assertiveness,” says Daniel Ames, a professor of management at Columbia and co-author of the new study.

Some results of the study show:

57% of people actually seen by their counterpart as under-assertive thought they had come across as appropriately assertive or even over-assertive.
56% of people actually seen by their counterpart as over-assertive thought they had come across as appropriately assertive or even under-assertive.

So now that we’ve got a 50/50 chance of falsely assessing our workplace behavior, what can you do to ensure you’re a more approachable but not a pushover boss?

Open up

Let employees and colleagues know your door is always open. Allow a safe space for honesty and ensure there will be no negative consequences for it.

Watch your body language

Maintain positive body language by sitting up straight and actively listening, smile and exercise welcoming posture by keeping your arms uncrossed.

Keep your emotions in check

Your employees need to know they can share information with you without causing an emotional response that may or may not be appropriate to the situation. Even if you’re frustrated or stressed, maintain a level expression of emotion which will save the moment and allow you time to consider what the productive next steps should be.

Listen

If you ask a question convinced you already know the answer, that will show and your employee will get frustrated knowing you’re not listening. Keep both ears open and be present in the conversation so your team will feel valued and offer feedback more frequently.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

The Top 5 Dos and Don’ts of Salary Negotiation

Don’t Take on Free Work

Salary negotiations can be a major pain point for most employees and even managers. There’s a way to do it and garner results and a way to do it ineffectively. The different rests in these few dos and don’ts.

Don’t…

Be Ridiculous

While you should ask for a fair salary, be sure to avoid naming a figure that’s absurdly high in the hopes it will just be negotiated down. Few things can halt a salary negotiation quite like an unreasonable request, don’t start off on the wrong foot.

Take on Free Work

It’s important to agree to take on more responsibility to warrant your salary increase, but not without proper compensation. Any new responsibility should be reflected in your pay.

Get Personal

As frustrating as it may be, you’re not alone in financial hardships. So leave the tales of how you’re struggling to pay the mortgage and put 3 kids through college at home; it won’t play into your potential salary increase.

Assume the Offer is Final

Salary and benefits are usually negotiable, even in this economy. Most organizations leave themselves some room for movement when placing and offer on the table. Don’t sell yourself short.

Make Threats

Threatening to quit your job won’t have the desired effect in a salary negotiation. It’s unprofessional and will work against you in your quest.

Do…

Agree to Work Harder

Let it be known that you can fill important company needs and will eagerly jump at new project opportunities. Be sure your new responsibility is reflected in your pay but if you show a willingness to grow and contribute to the team, your negotiations should sway more your way.

Your Research

This is especially helpful if you’re applying for a new position that isn’t identical to the one you already hold. Prior to your interview, gather as much information as you can about what the going rate is for the position at hand and how that stacks up next to your education, experience and skills. Ask relevant questions about the duties you will be asked to perform and have an understanding of the high, median and low salaries for the job.

Talk Bottom Line

Discuss how you’ve contributed to your current organization’s bottom line. Offer statistics and concrete ways you helped the company profit and are, therefore, worth a salary increase.

Add Benefits

There are other ways to be compensated beyond straight pay. Educational reimbursements, vacation time and travel allowances can be added to your negotiation. Being flexible in your requests could work to your benefit.

Remain Patient

Staying patient and steadfast in your quest will work in your favor, even if time appears not to be. These are two great qualities in an employee; understanding it might not be the right time for the salary you want and remaining patient and steadfast will get you to the goal eventually.

Negotiating your salary for a new or current job can be an intimidating feat. But you can be wildly successful if you apply the right strategy with the right attitude. Stay patient and professional, hopeful and factual and better compensation will be yours in no time.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

Change is Coming: 6 Ways to Manage Your Team Through the Chaos

Start with you

Change can ruffle the feathers of any company making it a great time for good managers to shine. An effective leader helps ease team tensions while paving the way for open-minded, forward thinking; providing both a safe space for employees to feel secure and a growing company that nurtures change.

But saving the day is easier said than done so if you’re facing impending change and are uncertain about its possible effects, start with these 6 steps and be on your way to healthy corporate growth.

If you’re reluctant about the change or feeling overwhelmed by its possible impact, your team will feel that. Your worry will be heard in the details you translate, your tone of voice and even your body language. So start by allowing yourself to figure out the details, address your concerns and create a positive approach before transmitting to our team.
Encourage closure
In order to embrace change, people need to let go of the past. This could mean certain roles will change, partnerships may get mixed up and workplace comfort zones will be jolted. As a people manager, you have to plan to help your team accept change and adapt so let them know it’s okay to say goodbye to the comfort of the past because the future could be even better.
Identify the safe spaces
Studies have shown that only 15% of a role has to change in order for an employee to feel like they’re working an entirely new job. Working together to help them identify which parts of their job are staying the same can help shift that perspective while giving them something comfortable to get them through the transition.
Be open and honest
This may seem like a given but you might not always be able to share as much information as you’d like. Work extra hard when you can, though. Offer as many details as possible and keep the lines of communication open. This includes addressing the Whys, Hows and What Ifs to diminish feelings of uncertainty and adverse feelings. When you have nothing new to report, ensure them you will relay any and all information once it comes by you.
Involve yourselves
Having your team involved in even the smallest aspect of the changes can help ease the feelings of helplessness and improve morale. Participation in any phase of change can also be great for team exposure and spreading a positive adaptation of new things, which can help both your team and the organization in the long run.
Offer individual support
Everyone reacts to change in their own way, so take the time to meet with each employee and explore their unique perspective of the new environment. Allow each team member to express their own concerns and offer your support where possible.

Change is scary in most cases, but when it comes to someone’s job, it gets even scarier. As a manager, it’s your job to help ease the transition by limiting stress on your employees and cultivating a positive, open environment.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

5 Ways to Tell If You’re Abusing Your Authority

Do you encourage failure?

Being the boss is tricky sometimes. You want to create an environment of trust and respect while encouraging efficiency and managing a positive work environment. You can’t please everyone and when working with different personalities and stressors of your own, you might not even realize you’ve participated in some unsavory management tactics to get through the day.

To save yourself, and your employees, ask yourself the following questions to ensure you’re not taking advantage of your power.

Are you using intimidation to reach success?

Bullies are easy to spot because they don’t bully everyone, only those they feel enough power over to victimize. So you should ask yourself if certain members of your team make you feel more powerful than others and then begin to examine why.

Boss bullying can occur by way of sarcasm, yelling and sometimes even physical violence such as slamming drawers, throwing things and mishandling staff. If you use intimidation or humiliation tactics to get results from your team, consider that they’re simply complying with demands to avoid the brunt of your rage. Bullying behavior warrants lower performance and increased absenteeism, to name just a few negative reactions.

Do you manipulate?

If in an effort to meet business objectives, you find yourself choosing your immediate needs over the business’ long-term needs by way of lies and mind games, you might be a manipulator.

Making false promises to promote an employee so as to get better performance from them, pinning staff against each other, taking sides and picking favorites are a few signs to look for.

Are you a colleague-boss?

Do you try to be the “cool boss” by denying your power and trying to make everyone else feel equal? While there can be benefits to this tactic, without proper finesse and the right perspective you could be causing more harm than good. By failing to acknowledge the power you have regarding promotions, salaries, hiring and firing and access to information, you’re building a false reality within the department. You might even read as insecure and uncomfortable with your own authority which does more harm than just allow you to be taken advantage of; you’re also untrustworthy which can make your staff uncomfortable, too. And when the time comes for you to use your power to make a decision, your staff will be faced with the sudden reality that they’re not your equal after all.

Do you intrude on your employees’ privacy?

No one feels comfortable working for a snoopy boss. If you don’t trust your employees, a problem exists too large to fix by standing over their computer screen or checking their printing queue. Instead of quietly creeping up on working employees or keeping your ear tight on coffee break chatter, learn how to build a bigger trust among the team.

Do you encourage failure?

Do you set unrealistic goals for your employees or change project guidelines often, causing extra work and stress on the team? Do you avoid providing honest and constructive feedback? Do you withhold information that could be vital in the success of a project? You might be setting your staff up to fail and taking a deeper look is in everyone’s best interest.

You probably don’t mean to abuse your authority but if you find yourself questioning any of the above, you might want to reevaluate your management technique. It’s important for you to keep your perspective through the daily stress of being the boss otherwise you’ll lose the team’s respect and much more loss will follow suit.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

How Optimizing Meeting Roles Could Save Big Bucks

Prioritize themes and goals

If time is money, workplace meetings could sure rack up a huge bill. Meetings and events often take up a larger chunk of an organization’s budget than most might suspect, so it’s important to optimize space, goals and roles to ensure the company is seeing the best return on investment.

Prioritize themes and goals

Be sure to establish the goal of the meeting as a parameter for all necessary discussions and action items to fit within. If there are no takeaways or plans for change, the meeting could be considered a waste of time. Avoid time-wasters by considering the who, the why and the what’s next? And plan for follow-ups as necessary.

Invite only those who are necessary to the meeting

Video conferences might charge per person, so the cost for including non-essential employees is clear. But even when dealing with in-person meetings and events, inviting those who aren’t critical to the meeting or event is an unnecessary use of their time. Over time, this could add up to the illusion of poor work performance.

Don’t pay for things you don’t need

For long distance meetings, opt for technology over travel. With Skype and video conferencing, traveling from the Denver office to the New York office can be saved for bigger events worth the time and expenditure.

Shop around

If booking hotel conferences, be sure to negotiate for free wi-fi. Seek contracted group rates for guest rooms and ensure cancellation fees are avoidable. Choose the dates and times wisely whenever possible so you can take advantage of off-season rates.

Meetings may be important for info shares, team building, brainstorming and the like, but be sure you’re not overstepping any boundaries where money and time can be saved. Proper meeting management can make or break your bottom line.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

Top 5 Limiting Beliefs That Will Keep You Out of the Corner Office

I’m underqualified.

Getting ahead in business doesn’t come naturally to everyone. And you might be confused about how to accomplish your career goals quickly and professionally.

Corporate ladder climbing is often competitive and it can be hard to keep the courage to stick with it when the process might start to shine a light on your shortcomings.

The good news is letting career-limiting beliefs stand between you and your dream role is more easily avoidable than you think; but you have to start with identifying them. See if any of these resonate with your inner empowerment struggle and learn how to put your doubts in their rightful place; behind you.

The job market is terrible, I should just be happy where I am.

While there is some validity to this thought process (gratitude can get you far), there’s no reason others can succeed in the same market while you hold on to negative odds. People are still getting jobs, and the market is on the upswing. Plus you never know if your dream position just opened up because the person who held it before moved on at the perfect time.

I’m underqualified.

This is best left for the hiring manager to decide, so throw your hat into the ring regardless of whether or not you think you’re good enough. Our self-esteem can be easily damaged during an intensive job search but it’s important you disconnect that from your professional conquests. What’s the worst that can happen if you apply for a job you’re not qualified for? Then consider what’s the best that could happen.

I’m overqualified.

No one is overqualified. You might not have the proper qualifications for one job or another but blanket statements like will have your job search going from “selective” to “impossible.”

I’m too old.

If you’re fearful that your skills will be out of date, take this opportunity to update your education. If there’s a particular skill required for the job you desire most, take a course or network with the folks who understand it best. Otherwise your age shouldn’t limit you. You’ll always have something to offer that the younger generations can’t; figure out what it is and market it.

I need experience to get the job, but I need to get the job to get experience.

This can be a frustrating predicament to find yourself, especially if you’re new to the job market. But don’t get stuck thinking you need to be on a particular journey in order to get the proper experience. Volunteering and interning, while undesirable, can help solve this problem in just a few short months. If this is the only thing holding you back, think outside the box and get creative.

Whether you’re fresh out of college looking for the perfect entry-level job or a seasoned veteran looking for that corner office, there are confidence pitfalls that make it easy to turn the probable into the impossible. Don’t let these beliefs get the best of you.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

Why Working Around the Clock is Hurting Your Career

Creative Problem-Solving Fuel

All too often, we let stress get the best of us. Suddenly workplace pressure goes beyond the walls of the workplace and impedes on our personal lives, as well. You might feel you need to stay on top of your work even off hours to stay competitive and empowered but there are some essential necessities to unplugging and relaxing a bit.

In general, play isn’t just important for kids to mold their imaginations and keep their energy buzzing; play should be an important part of every adult’s day. Here are some reasons getting in some playtime can actually improve your work performance when you get back there on Monday.

Creative Problem-Solving Fuel

Stepping outside of the ordinary box for recreational time can teach you a lesson or two, whether you know it or not. When there’s no goal to reach by the end of the day, you find yourself immersed in the experience, not the accomplishments. Suddenly you’re armed with a different perspective which can carry over to a more creative approach when facing job-related challenges.

Improvements in Mood and Well-being

This one is obvious but incredibly important. You’re no good to anyone or any job if you’re run down and frustrated. Allow those playtime endorphins to course through your veins whenever you can; it will keep you in a healthier, less stressed mental state when you’re back at your desk.

Enhanced Relationships and Social Empowerment

Meeting new people and sharing a few laughs when the heat is off can help you master it for when the heat is on. Networking is crucial in any career but if you always keep your head down and your mind on work, even on your own time, you’ll forget how to interact with people faster than you might expect. Plus you never know who you might meet at your neighbor’s brother’s friend’s barbeque; it could be someone with a lead on your dream job.

It’s easy to become overwhelmed with your daily responsibilities and the pressures at work to stay competitive and competent but if you don’t allow for some personal time to kick back and get out of your goal-reaching mind, your actions are more counterproductive than good. Seek stress relief whenever possible and always surround yourself with good people and great laughs; it’ll improve your work performance 10-fold.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

Are You One of the Horrible Bosses?

The Monster

Not all types of bosses are horrible, but even if you’re trying your best, you might be using methods that don’t translate to your employees with the same intention you think they do. Let us help you figure out what type(s) of boss you might be and how you can make some minor adjustments to improve your relationship with the team.

The Buddy

Are you trying hard to be friends with your team? Making jokes, being lenient about the rules, planning fun events to bond over? While levity has its place in the office, make sure you’re not using your coolness to detract from actually taking care of your team where it matters. Free pizza might be a nice bonus on a Friday afternoon but if those tactics distract you from being knowledgeable and reliable during the rest of the day, you might need to reprioritize. Your employees are seeing through it, whether you want to believe it or not.

The Phantom

Are you always on some kind of business trip or locked away behind the closed door of your office? Being a trusted manager means you need to put in some face time with your team. Don’t leave the team searching for guidance and coming up short because they can’t find you or know how to approach you. Being present and engaging is important.

The Manipulator

Do you find yourself making promises you can’t keep just to appease a situation? You’re likely causing more harm than good. Lip service from a manager is one of the most frustrating things for an employee to endure and when they don’t get the promotion you promised, your tactics will backfire quickly. Be an honest advocate for your team; they’ll understand your limitations, you don’t have to play mind games.

The Softy

If you think you’re making it easier on your employees to use kid-gloves when managing, you’re not. Eventually the overall needs of the business will catch up to you and your team alike, and by then everyone will feel too overwhelmed to be productive. Being the boss means making difficult decisions. If you’re too nice to make those decisions, you’ll end up molding a lazy team that will grow to disrespect you in no time. Give your team the chance to be proactive rather than reactive.

The Monster

Don’t be a softy, but don’t be harsh on your team, either. People skills are crucial to your success as a manager and if you’re missing general human decency, perhaps you should consider a role where you interact less with coworkers. Shaming your staff or being unnecessarily difficult when it comes to work challenges or personal issues will provide you with a fearful, resentful, unproductive group of employees. Not everyone is cut out to be a manager, if this is particularly difficult for you, it might be time for a change.

Your intentions are probably pure but your methods might not reflect that. Don’t let your own workplace pressures get in the way of how you manage your team. Leadership involves understanding, guidance and the proper perspective; the results you’ll get from the right balance of that will be worth it.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

Is It Time To Advance? How to Know When Your Time to Lead Has Come

Are You Observant?

Whether or not you have a great job, a great boss and a great work ethic, you could be starting to look to take the next step in your career.

While being promoted to boss is a great step up in any business, not everyone has what it takes to be in a leadership role. So if you’re considering a move up the corporate ladder, first see if these management qualities match up to what you bring to the table.

Are you…

Observant?

In order to solve problems, you have to know they’re occurring. Are you able to notice pain points and performance detractors?

This information doesn’t come in a how-to manual; in fact, when you survey your employees, you might even get positive feedback. Don’t take the “no news is good news” approach or even write off a positive report as fact; an astute leader will intuit what’s right and what’s wrong without having to ask. Always follow up on the instincts you have.

Empathetic?

Management is a people business. You can bring great ideas to the table and execute each one with great efficacy but it’s not until you’ve rallied the troops with enthusiasm and productivity that you’ve made it into the big leagues of leadership. In order to motivate, inspire and mentor your employees, you need to be good at understanding people. Without empathy, building relationships with your employees will teeter on impossible.

Don’t confused empathy for sympathy; the latter could be taken advantage of. But being powerfully compassionate when your employees are having a hard time at work or at home can take the individual, the team and your career a long way.

Coachable?

How good will you be at providing learning opportunities to your employees if you can’t accept learning opportunities for yourself? A person who seeks out feedback and embraces it when delivered, will be much more open to viewing feedback as a helpful process. Receiving and giving feedback well is a key part of being a skilled leader. Transparency and sharing honest feedback is part of the coaching process, one that you can deploy with your employees to help them grow.

Skilled?

Now that you’ve got your people skills down, what initiative are you going to take to better the company? Have you had any ideas lingering but previously didn’t have the authority to take it to the right people or get it done? Now’s your chance. Leading by example is going to make the managerial skills you’ve honed shine all the more.

Not everyone is cut out to be the boss. While you might be ready to move on from your current position, be sure to ask yourself some important questions before deciding if leadership is for you. If you’re not quite there, reach out to a supportive boss or mentor to help steer you in the right direction.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

5 Ways to Tell If You’re Not Listening to Your Team

Pardon the Interruption

You’ve got a full plate – I won’t try to argue with you on that. But being busy implementing new ideas and meeting your boss’s expectations is no excuse to ignore the people-managing portion of your job.

Your employees are always trying to tell you something whether you want to hear it or not. So how do you know if you’re the kind of boss they feel comfortable bringing honest feedback to, or if you’re the kind of boss they won’t waste their time on?

Pardon the Interruption

Are you interrupting? Assuming? Judging? Distracted?

These are not four qualities of a good listener but they might be qualities of an overworked boss. The key to listening is being quiet; that includes you, your inner monologue and the external distractions. Put the phone away, stop checking your email, just offer your full attention to the matter at hand. Listen with both ears.

Can You Elaborate?

Are you asking more questions and engaging?

Never assume you have information you don’t. If you’re engaged with a concerned employee, ask as many questions as you can until you fully understand the situation. Listen with new ears and you’ll be surprised not just by what new things you learn but by how appreciated your employee will feel.

One More Thing

Are you following up?

Just because the conversation is over, doesn’t mean your involvement is. Failing to remember the discussion can jeopardize your trustworthiness and forgetting to follow up can do even more damage. If the chat concluded with an action item you were supposed to move on, be sure you do it. You’ll hear from your employees less and less if they feel ignored.

If You’re Happy and You Know it

Do you know what your employees want and need to keep them engaged and happy?

Are you familiar with the people on your team enough to know what matters most to them? Perhaps you think a great work incentive is to offer midday snacks to break the 2pm slump but what if Joanie, a tired mother of 3, is on a diet? Perhaps a better treat would be to let your employees off work 15 minutes early. Then Joanie can grab a healthy snack and spend some extra time with the kids before bedtime. An incentive idea might sound great to you but as with most things in life, know your audience. And don’t be surprised if the snack cart doesn’t motivate the way you expected.

Listen with your Eyes

Sometimes your employees will feel too scared or uncomfortable to bring something to your attention directly. Don’t blame them for it. Instead, open your eyes and see if you notice anything about morale, productivity or office politics that might need addressing. Surely you’ve had experiences in the past where you wanted to share something with your boss but didn’t feel comfortable doing so. Did you show any distress signs? Your team is likely going to draw on the same ones when things go wrong.

People want to matter; they want to be heard. One of the most frustrating experiences you could provide an employee is to ignore, patronize or judge their concerns.

Your employees are the expert of their jobs. They’re on the frontlines doing the hands on work. So be sure you’re listening to what they’re trying to communicate to you. It’s imperative that you believe it and it’s imperative that you help them believe it.

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Do you want to motivate and lead your staff more effectively? My executive coaching services can help you hone your leadership skills and clearly define your goals and objectives.

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