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An
e-mail newsletter designed to transform the way you think about your career…
and to help you face Mondays with a smile!
by Dale Kurow, M.S., Career & Executive Coach
Welcome,
loyal subscribers and new readers!
I hope you’re
having a fabulous Summer.
I sincerely
appreciate everyone who wrote last month thanking me for rerunning the
elevator speech article. I love hearing from you and always welcome your
feedback!
The July
4th reunion picnic in Central Park with friends we made while touring
Italy was a huge success!
Everyone
brought such yummy food - delicious prosciutto, mozzarella and red
peppers on great Italian bread, bottles of wine, fruit galore. What a
feast!
Stan gave
everyone a deluxe tour of Central Park and the visit lasted the whole
day.
Here are
a couple of photos of Meryl, Bonnie and I in the park having fun. We are
already planning our next get together!
This month
I’m re-broadcasting my article on “Getting Past Fear.”
I hope it provides inspiration to move forward despite the career trepidations
you face.
Ciao and
the best of August to you all!
To Your Success,
Have you
gotten tons of career advice, solicited and unsolicited? You nod when
you hear it and think, "Yeah, I know this stuff." So, what else
is new?
But what
have you done with the advice? Fess up. Probably very little.
Do any of
these scenarios fit?
-
You're
in a job you absolutely hate. It's ruining your health and your life.
You stay because of the money or the fear that there's nothing better
out there.
-
You're
in a job where your boss ignores you, barks instructions and expects
you to be a workaholic. But you stay because a new boss might be worse.
-
You're
lazy. You figure that one of these days, you'll hear about a great
job, the economy will improve, or maybe your boss will realize how
great you are. Plus, you don't have a resume.
-
Or, you're
unemployed and decide not to pursue a job that you heard about, or
a field you are interested in, because one person said they were looking
for experience you didn't have. Well, they know best, right?
Hello. I
want to grab you by the shoulders, look into your eyes and say, "Wake
up and smell the coffee!" Santa Claus is not coming down your chimney,
and Elvis has permanently left the building.
So, why do
otherwise savvy adults live with this passive mindset? F-E-A-R. Fear of
failure. Fear of success. Fear of rejection. You name it, fear has a starring
role, with procrastination and laziness as costars.
But there's
help at hand!
I read a
book 12 years ago, "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway"
by Dr. Susan Jeffers, that changed my life. It has been changing my clients'
lives ever since. (More about the book in the suggested reading section
later.)
The crucial
thing I learned from this book is that everything depends upon your attitude,
your perception of the situation. Not what happens. Not what people say
or do. But how you view it.
So, you've
heard that before, too, right? Has it changed the way you tell yourself
how to view what happens? I doubt it.
Here's the
powerful stuff (and stuff I bet you've heard before, too). Nobody changes
his or her attitude without working at it. I'm here to tell you that you
need to work that attitude muscle, just like you do your biceps at the
gym. Otherwise, forget it.
You don't
wake up one morning, optimistic, ready to take on the world and feeling
like Pollyanna. Especially if you're out of work, hate your job or are
just plain lazy.
So, how do
you change your attitude? Years
of therapy. No, just kidding. Like exercising your biceps, the attitude
muscle needs work everyday. I recommend reading Jeffers' book, cover to
cover.
In the meantime,
here are some tips:
Internal
Dialogue exercises (you need to do these more than once a day for starters):
Change
the dialogue you have with yourself. Instead of thinking, "I'm
afraid" or "I don't want to look stupid," think, "I
can handle that" or "I know I will get a job." Instead
of thinking, "Gee, that's a problem," think, "It's an
opportunity." If someone says, "You don't have the kind of
experience for that type of work," think, "It's one person
saying it; let me get more information." And forget
about words like "should" or "try." Ban them from
your vocabulary. They are negative and weak words. Own your power! You
either will or won't.
When I first
read Jeffers' book, I pasted positive quotes all over the refrigerator
and near my desk. I suggest you use quotes that are meaningful to you.
Here's one
I love:
"I'm not a failure if I don't make it. I'm a success because I tried."
Unknown
Finally,
most people think they are the only one experiencing gut-wrenching fear.
NOT.
You are going
to feel the fear whenever you are in new territory (a good thing), but
SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. This is one club you'll want to join. Membership
requirements - facing down your fear and bravely moving forward despite
it!
"Feel
The Fear And Do It Anyway"
by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D.
I love
this book, because it's straightforward, easy to read and doesn't throw
jargon at you. It's a great book for helping you to get unstuck. Jeffers
offers practical tips and support in moving you forward. My copy is replete
with sections I've underlined, sections I continue to refer back to. Here's
an example: "Each path is strewn with opportunities despite the outcome."
Imagine if you could adopt that mindset? I can see doors opening all over
the place!
Click
to Amazon
"What
To Say When You Talk To Yourself"
by Shad Helmstetter
This
book will help you to quiet the negative self-tapes that are a first cousin
to fear. Helmstetter tells his story well and presents techniques to help
you retool how you think. Read: attitude readjustment. One that puts you
in control!
Click
to Amazon |
